Blog | Trevor and Lexi Baker

Four Daily Reminders To Help You Stay Happily Married

May 15, 2019 Trevor and Lexi Baker Marriage and Family

History reveals that a marriage does not always guarantee a happily ever after. In fact, many people who lovingly and willingly said “I do” in front of their loved ones end up filing for divorce later on. They say marriage is a decision to stay together no matter what; but it is not advisable to stay married for the wrong reasons. If you decide to hold on to your relationship, you should also aim for a long-lasting marriage that is happy and fulfilling. With the ups and downs that come with married life, staying true to your vows will not always be easy. A little reminder, though, can keep you hanging on to your relationship even during the worst of times. For a stronger and happier relationship that will withstand time, remind yourself of the following every day:

Remember your spouse’s wonderful traits.

Familiarity breeds contempt. There may be days when your partner’s quirky ways or annoying habits can get under your skin. During these days, it will be helpful if you remind yourself of the reasons you fell in love with your spouse in the first place. Always remember that marriage is a promise to be patient and understanding with one other. You may not have married a perfect individual but there are surely wonderful traits that you like about your spouse. You will be a kinder and more loving spouse if you focus on the good traits of your partner. If you regularly tell your spouse about the things you love instead of hate about him or her, you can even encourage positive behavior.

Remember to stop making a mountain out of a molehill.

You may encounter a lot of problems in your relationship, but not all of them will be worth mulling over. To make your relationship less stressful and happier, learn to let go of the small stuff. Make it a habit to forgive each other for small mistakes and stop over-analyzing things. If you are upset over something about your marriage, take a minute to reflect if it is something that will matter several years from now. If it is not, it’s likely not worth losing sleep over. The saying, “choose your battles” is something you can definitely apply to your relationship.

Remember to take care of yourself.

Taking care of others does not mean neglecting or sacrificing your own needs. Don’t feel guilty if you need to take some time off for yourself. Even when you are in a relationship, you should continue letting yourself grow as an individual. By taking good care of yourself, you will be in a better position to care for others. But as you take care of your own needs and interests, don’t forget that you should also allow your partner to do the same.

Remember that a happy marriage is a conscious effort.

Couples who choose to separate have their reasons and no one can judge them for their decision. Still, no one can deny that It is still sad to see a relationship come to an end. Especially because there are things that couples could have done to prevent their relationship from breaking apart. You may have to talk about your problems, implement changes in your routines or even attend counselling. Just keep in mind that whatever trials you and your spouse may face, always believe and remember that you can work it out together. With conscious effort, two people in a relationship can ultimately strengthen their bond.

A wedding is a joyous and beautiful event because you get to witness two individuals profess unconditional love for each other for the rest of their lives. People who enter this lifelong commitment, though, cannot just give up on each other so easily. From the day they utter their vows, their daily actions and thoughts should help make their union happier and stronger.

Easy Tricks To Help You Bid Goodbye To Procrastination

March 15, 2019 Trevor and Lexi Baker Mentorship

To begin, begin.
-William Wordsworth

Do you have a long list of things to do but never seem to find the time to actually do them? At home, school or work there are always a pile of things that you need or intend to do. Maybe you have been thinking of redesigning your kitchen. You probably need to rearrange the mountain of documents in your office but keep on putting it off. For what seemed like ages, you probably have a few personal goals to fulfill such as losing weight, exercising regularly or reading more but never get around to accomplishing it.

If your answer is yes, then you might be guilty of procrastination. It may be embarrassing to be caught red-handed with the practice of postponing things, but it is a common problem for a lot of people. A 2014 study done by an educational technology company revealed that 87% of 1500 students surveyed considered themselves procrastinators. The numbers prove that you are not alone. But, it is not quite a source of comfort as the same survey indicates that 45% of procrastinators agreed that the bad habit negatively affects their school performance. So if you want to achieve more in life, make an effort to bid goodbye to procrastination. It may feel like a struggle to change a bad habit but the outcome will be worth it. The following easy tips can help you win against procrastination!

Just do it.

If you want to finish something, then start somewhere. This statement may sound like a no-brainer but it is the concept behind a term in psychology which is the Zeigarnik effect. The term, which came from Russian psychiatrist Bluma Zeigarnik, implies that people are likely to finish or remember uncompleted rather than completed tasks. Apparently your brain will keep on urging you to work on tasks that you left hanging. So if you want to finally cross something off your list of goals, resolve to start doing it today!

Turn goals into specific actions.

A particular objective will remain just an objective if you are clueless as to how to accomplish it. In fact, lack of skills or knowledge to tackle a certain goal is one of the things that hinders people from achieving something. To make your objectives doable, it will be helpful if you list a series of specific steps or actions you need to do to complete a task. Breaking down a seemingly huge and impossible task will make them much more doable.

Think of the consequences.

Are you aware of all the benefits that you will enjoy from working on a goal but they fail to get you working on a project? Maybe you can try focusing on all the bad effects you will have to endure if you stubbornly keep on delaying the work. You may miss a lot of great opportunities or jeopardize the success of a huge project. Everybody wants to avoid bad situations, so it may be a more effective way to get you moving.

Since procrastination is a huge obstacle that hinders your success, you should strive to overcome it. Do not let your list remain just a list. Take action to beat procrastination today!

3 Non-Traditional Valentine’s Day Ideas

January 15, 2019 Trevor and Lexi Baker Marriage and Family

Stumped about how to stage the perfect Valentine’s Day celebration? Worry no more. There are countless ways to revitalize the excitement you and your spouse felt during your first time celebrating together. Ditch the tired routine of dinner and a movie and bring on the romance with a fresh take on how to revive the day. Here are three nontraditional ways to make your Valentine’s Day fun and memorable.

Make Something

If you and your partner are the hands-on type, why not make something together? Handmade treats are a tangible show of care. By investing your own time and effort to create an end product, every creative decision you make further personalizes the outcome. You and your spouse will be grateful for the beauty of the process and proud of the love that went into every detail.

Try:

Cooking: Make dinner, pack a picnic or bake something sweet.Self-expression: Think art, music, dance or poetry.
Wearable creations: make or design jewelry or sew an article of clothing together

Laugh Together

Laughter is good for the soul (and your union). Life is full of plenty of serious, somber moments – your date night shouldn’t be one of them. Lighten up! There’s nothing better than spending Valentine’s Day doubling over in laughter. First, think about your spouse’s particular brand of humor, then find an event or activity that fits the bill.

Here are some possibilities:

A comedy or improv show.
A comedy movie (or show) marathon at home.
Game night (remember that the competition should be more fun than competitive).

Focus on Others

If traditional romance isn’t your cup of tea, consider stepping outside of the box. Valentine’s Day is all about love, but there’s no rule that requires you to limit it to your spouse. Instead, go out and spread love as a united team. Think of what you can do to make someone else feel tended to and cared for. On the surface, it may appear that such an act diverts your attention away from your spouse and places focus on someone else. But look a little deeper and you’ll see that philanthropy, community service and spousal mentorship all rely on teamwork. What better way to celebrate your love than by showing how well you work together as a loving couple?

Ideas:

Donate time: Pick a foundation like the Humane Society or the Children’s Hospital and spread some cheer
Donate money: Spend the day researching worthy causes and charities
Mentor another couple: Record a podcast, write a social media post full of marital wisdom or schedule an in-person mentorship session with a young couple.

Valentine’s Day gives couples an excuse to be extra sweet. But when in a long term relationship, finding new ways to celebrate your love can be taxing. After years together, you’ve most likely checked many romantic date and gift ideas off your list. However, making your quality time memorable doesn’t have to be a job. Save the ideas above as a reference guide for the next time you run out of Valentine’s day ideas and surprise your spouse with a day to remember.

Want A Happier & Healthier Lifestyle? Time To Examine The Company You Keep

November 15, 2018 Trevor and Lexi Baker Lifestyle

“People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person, or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.” ~ Plato

The quest for lasting happiness and good health is as old as time. Countless books have been written and various studies have been done to discover how we can experience genuine bliss and satisfaction. Likewise, people are in constant search for ways to strengthen their physical body and improve overall health.

Our obsession for attaining ultimate joy led to many theories and recommendations that make leading a happy and healthy lifestyle appear to be a complicated process. The result of a certain research study immensely simplifies it. This 2014 study published in the Public Library of Science (PLOS One), suggests that the key to a rewarding lifestyle is as easy as surrounding yourself with friends that have a pleasant disposition in life. Apparently, good habits and positive emotions are contagious, so to be healthier and happier, the people you regularly spend time with are an important factor. The positive influence of your association with good people may even matter more than any medication or treatment available. So go ahead and be choosy in selecting people to hang out with. The following reminders can help ensure that you are in good company:

Radiate positivity yourself

Good-natured people will easily come into your life if you start by being the person you want to meet. So drop the pessimism and train yourself to always see the good side of everything.

Avoid or let go of toxic people

People who constantly threaten your safety and crush your spirit are like weeds in the garden. You cannot fully bloom if you do not pull them out of your life. This process may be painful or difficult since people who always put you down can be dear friends or family members. However, keeping up with their negative behaviors will not help them either. You may even do them a favor by keeping a distance because they might realize their destructive attitude and change for the better.

Elevate your standards

You can fully control the people who enter your life by setting standards about the kind of friends you want. It may be a wise idea to mingle with the folks who share your virtues and passions. Another good option is to make friends with people whom you admire. When you spend time with them, you are likely to pick up their useful habits and imitate their impressive personality. Being picky with friends does not make you a snub. In a way, it is being aware of your self-worth and the kind of people you deserve.

Aim for deep & lasting friendships

In this era of social media, some people tend to perceive friendship as something as easy as clicking a button. But if you make friends this way, folks can go in and out of your life in a flash that you deprive yourself the benefits of forming lasting connections. This is crucial in life satisfaction because a research conducted by Wayne State University revealed the link between happiness and close friendships. So instead of shallow acquaintances, nurture relationships by exerting efforts to keep true friends once you found them. Rather than being concerned with the number of friends in your circle, aim for deep friendships even with just a few people.

The above points suggest that positive relationships hold the key to maintaining good health and increasing happiness. So, if you want to enrich your lifestyle, it may be time to examine the company you keep.

Five Easy Ways To Manage Your Fears & Anxieties

September 15, 2018 Trevor and Lexi Baker Mentorship

We all go through this life with a dream to pursue or a goal to meet. Our need for achievement fuels us to take risks and make our lives more meaningful. Yet, it is safe to say that all of us carry some sort of fear, anxiety, or worry. These fears are like roadblocks that can hindrance our paths to success. These obstacles can slow you down, inflict self-doubt, and even worse, ultimately convince you to ditch your objectives. Still, you should realize that these roadblocks exist for a reason and that is our job to eliminate it. After all, the ability to overcome fear is what sets successful people apart from the unsuccessful ones.

Here are five simple tips to combat your fears and crush your worries:

Identify Your Fears

“To win in every battle, know yourself and know the enemy,” this pretty much sums up a quote from a Chinese philosopher, Sun Tzu in the book, The Art of War. The first step in managing your fear is by acknowledging it. Identify things that scare you and the possible reasons for it. It can be a fear of rejection, of public speaking, or even heights. Acknowledging your fears will help you understand yourself better and will make it easier for you to come up with ways on how to deal with it. The idea is that once you are aware of your fears, you can now take steps towards eliminating the bumps on your road to success.

Visualize and Meditate

Take advantage of the power of the mind to help you manifest your goals in life. You can start by allotting a few minutes of your day in silence and meditation. As you meditate, visualize yourself conquering your fears and enjoying success. The practice of meditation can clear your mind and lessen your anxiety, thus increasing your confidence to deal with your fears.

Create a Personal Mantra

They say that we should guard our thoughts because thoughts become words and words turn into actions. So, make sure that your inner voice will give the inspiration and encouragement you need to face your fears. Go ahead and develop a mantra that will remind you of your abilities and your goals. A mantra that will shun all sorts of fears aside. Give yourself a daily dose of positive affirmations and watch how it transforms your life for the better. You can write down your personal mantra in a journal or place it somewhere you can always see.

Face Your Fears

These fears are like stones that appear to get bigger the longer you stare at it. The moment you decide to pick up the stone, you realize it is not as heavy or as big as it seems. The same concept applies to how we deal with fear. You can start by doing something that allows you to confront your fears. For instance, if you are afraid of public speaking, you can share your thoughts in a small meeting. If you are afraid of rejection, you can start submitting proposals. It is great if your proposal gets approved but If you get rejected, you just realize it is not nearly as crushing as you imagined it to be. Most of the times, failure only means another chance to try again. Facing your fears on a regular basis will gradually lessen its impact on your life and in no time, you will realize, it ceased to affect you at all.

Choose Your Friends

If you are constantly stressed or anxious, it may be because you are surrounded by people who bring you down. Dealing with your fear is already a huge feat on your own, so having friends to support you along the way is a must. The people we interact daily affects us in more ways than we realize so spend time with those who will motivate you to be the best you can be.

The road to overcoming fears may seem intimidating at first, but every effort you make towards erasing your anxieties count. A small step will go a long way and in no time, you will see that you have successfully gotten over it.

3 Ways to Better Relate to Your Teenager

June 15, 2018 Trevor and Lexi Baker Marriage and Family

The children who hid behind us in public now take desperate measures to avoid being spotted with us at all. What happened? Many parents struggle to hold tightly to the relationship they had with their kids before they became teenagers. Follow these 3 easy steps to better relate to your teen.

Routine Bonding

An easy way to stay connected to your child is by implementing an opportunity to bond. You can plan a game night, a trip to the movies, or an outing that revolves around your teen’s favorite interest. If you want emphasize conversation, try a shared dinner or a walk through the neighborhood instead. These routines can be weekly, or even nightly. Set ground rules. If you want your child’s undivided attention, try a “no phones” rule. If being uplifting is a priority, try a “no negativity” rule. Your bonding time should be personalized to meet the needs of your relationship with your teen.

Creating a ritual of quality time will lay the groundwork for a solid, lasting connection. Teens need to know that no matter how challenging growing up becomes, they will always have opportunities to talk to their parents and spend time with people who love them. A lot of change is happening and it can be difficult to work through. Having at least one element that is constant, and reliable can be a safe place in the midst of all the change. Keep in mind that sometimes teens will want to skip a week or may not be up to socializing. In that case, be flexible and supportive, but always reschedule as soon as possible so the ritual of quality time doesn’t fall by the wayside.

Take Interest in Their Interests

The teenage years mark the beginning of experimentation. At this age, kids start wearing different clothes, making new friends, attempting new hobbies, and listening to new music. Teenagers are desperately trying to figure out where they fit in and who they want to be. We’ve all been there. While we were busy “finding ourselves”, our parents watched from the sidelines and expressed their concerns! Most didn’t understand our need to suddenly be different. Some parents did understand, but still vocalized their disapproval. In both cases, we felt judged and started to pull away. But now that you are a parent, you can change the narrative. Break the cycle! You have a chance to do things differently. Embrace the new parts of your teen’s life. Be open to your children’s changing interests and let them know that it’s okay to keep you in the loop. Remember that no one wants to share their opinions with someone who is going to be critical, instead of celebratory. So, however “out there” their new interests may be, do your best to happily join in. Doing so will help you bring you closer together, instead of further apart.

Change Your Perspective

In the eyes of a parent, teens can come off as moody, ungrateful, or dramatic. This portrayal causes division in the family because teens don’t think of themselves in that light. The issue lies in perspective. As adults, we tend to view our life problems as more serious than our children’s. We have bills to pay, marriages to maintain, and careers to manage. When we hear our teens complain about life being unfair, it’s difficult to assign the same weight to their complaints. While teenagers know their issues are different than an adult’s, they don’t think of their problems as any less stressful. When we minimize their stresses, they feel misunderstood and go elsewhere to seek the validation we withheld. This problem can be solved with a change of perspective. The next time you are tempted to be dismissive, step back and try to empathize. Remind yourself that stress is relative, perspective is adaptable, and support goes a long way.

Being a teenager is tough. So is being the parent of one. Your importance in your child’s life hasn’t changed, but how you connect with him/her will. As teens struggle to become more independent, they will you’re your guidance and love to make the journey a bit easier. Stay united by offering support and understanding and your bond will last the test of time.

Be a Better Husband by Following These Simple Tips

March 15, 2018 Trevor and Lexi Baker Marriage and Family

Upholding a pleasing balance between kids, career and general life is without a doubt tough to do. With societal improvements such as increases in technology and epic travel capabilities, it’s almost too easy to be able to work around the clock or be mentally absent from daily interactions. With these changes to become a better provider, fun dad or cooler friend, the last thing you want to do is drift apart from your wife in the process. Here are a few free and easy pointers to become a better husband.

Speak Up

When couples feel distance beginning to grow in the relationship, one of the major things the wife attributes it to is a decline in conversation. You may feel that you communicate with your spouse frequently throughout the week. But take a minute to reflect on the topics. The majority of conversations in a marriage tend to be about the kids, the bills, or things that have gone wrong. Think about when you first started dating, what did you talk about then? Most likely the spark wasn’t created by deciding who’s going to drop the car off for repairs. The easiest way to have more meaningful conversations is to ask her about her day. When she reciprocates the question, replying with a “Fine, yours?”, isn’t good enough. Be detailed in your response. She genuinely wants to know! Simple conversations like these can help you be more knowledgeable about your wife’s life. Being more in-sync with each other is a key to a healthy relationship.

Sit Together

When you’re at home together, do you tend to sit near each other, or are you in different rooms? Even if you’re not doing the same thing, simply sitting close to one another can heighten feelings of attraction and improve your relationship. The physical distance between couples can both reflect and fuel the level of emotional distance between them. Couples who naturally gravitate towards each other often more affectionate and closer emotionally in their marriage. Whatever you both happen to be doing, watching TV, reading, or socializing at a dinner party, be in close proximity to your wife.

Be a Team

Acting as a team is an essential part of any marriage. Pay attention to the way you and your significant other speak to one another. Couples that use the word “we” rather than “I”, “me”, and “you”, are better at resolving conflicts and making difficult decisions together. Always having your husband or wife by your side and on your team, makes you feel stable and less stressed. Being a team will make your life easier and your marriage stronger.

Do the Dishes

Nowadays, men and women work just about the same amount hours and have equally stressful jobs. That being said, odds are the vast majority of the household duties are completed by the wife. Doing some things around the house is incredibly helpful. Now, before you grab that dusty list of “Honey-Dos”, there’s one more thing. Don’t wait until your wife asks you to do something. That’s not the same! You know the usual things need to be done. Pick a couple and do them on your own. A man’s willingness to do household chores is a major predictor of a happy marriage according to women. So, wipe down the counters or get the kid’s lunches ready, your wife will appreciate you.

Making a conscious effort to incorporate these simple tips to becoming more mentally present in your marriage can do wonders. The best part is that being a better husband doesn’t require drastic changes or extra money. Remember that the little things in life can add up to make a monumental impact on the relationship with the one you love.

How to Remind Your Neighbors You Are Thinking of Them During the Holidays

December 22, 2017 Trevor and Lexi Baker Marriage and Family

When it comes to gift giving during the holiday season, our list starts with family, close friends, and coworkers. But what about the people you see on a daily basis? The elderly couple that lives around the corner from you? Or the young family you see walking down your street on Sunday afternoons? You see these people regularly, but perhaps you just don’t have that personal interaction with. Your neighbors may not be the first people you think of when you think of holiday gift giving and celebrations, but sharing your holiday spirit with them will surely make their season brighter because there is nothing better than knowing that people are thinking of you.

Deliver holiday treats

Holiday baking is one of the most enjoyable ways to spend time with your family and spread the Christmas cheer to those you love. Consider breaking out the family cookbook one more time to whip up a batch of your Christmas specialty to deliver to your neighbors. Everyone is super busy around this time of year, so your neighbors will be sure to appreciate the time you took for this thoughtful gesture.

Show them small acts of kindness

There is nothing that says “Merry Christmas!” like showing small acts of kindness to the people in your life. Go out of your way to let your neighbors know you are thinking of them during this holiday season. After you finish shoveling your driveway, walk over and start on theirs. Offer to pick up their groceries, walk their dog, or deliver their mail if you know they are having an extra difficult time for whatever reason this year. The season is all about giving and showing kindness to each other.

Send them a handwritten Christmas card

There is nothing better than sending Christmas wishes in the most authentic and genuine way possible. Take some time between shopping trips, gift wrapping sessions, and holiday celebrations to sit down with a pen and paper and write a nice holiday card to give to your neighbors. There is something about a handwritten card that will never go out of style.

This year make an effort to stay mindful of the people you may easily forget about it when it comes to spreading holiday cheer. Try these 3 easy ways to remind your neighbors you are thinking of them during the holiday season.

Do This One Thing to Turn Your Life Around

November 7, 2017 Trevor and Lexi Baker Lifestyle

The goal to turn your life around is a very large task. There’s no question about it. But sometimes it’s just what you need. And a true life transformation is achieved in baby steps. It’s important to choose your baby steps strategically if you truly want to experience a complete life transformation to become your best self. And this one small change has the power to propel a serious shift in the way you live your life. But what is this tiny change that makes a monstrous difference in your everyday life?

Well, it’s called a “domino action.” Make an effort to pick one thing you complete each morning that will launch your day into motion with purpose and productivity. It can be as simple as making your bed, going for a run, and making a protein-packed breakfast. Or maybe you take five minutes each morning to write down three tasks you want to accomplish that day, or you wake up every morning and cross five things off your to-do list before you do anything else.

Whatever your chosen “domino action” may be, make sure you stay disciplined, focused, and completely devote yourself to completing this task every morning. In doing so, you establish a beginning to your daily routine that increases your energy, sets your focus for the day, and strengthens your productivity.

The trick to completing these “domino actions” immediately when you wake up in the morning is that it gives you a sense of an early morning win, which makes it easier to continue this trend throughout the rest of the day. And the next thing you know, you will be recording small wins from the moment you get out of bed to the moment you get back under the covers. If you truly commit yourself to this practice, suddenly your whole day looks entirely different, which means eventually your life will be too. Your life will be filled with small daily wins, and when you add them together, they create large, significant achievements.

3 Things You Should Know About Establishing Family Values

October 5, 2017 Trevor and Lexi Baker Marriage and Family

Family values are a must in order to raise children who understand the meaning, importance, and purpose of living a moral life. These values you establish for your family help influence decisions and behavior for a lifetime, and they also can provide your family with a source of identity and a foundation to build and develop character. In fact, family values might just be the most important thing to remember when raising a family and interacting with others. Read these 3 things you should know about establishing family values.

There are different kinds of family values

Values look different to every family. That’s what creates diversity and teaches other people to learn about and interact with people who are different from them. So family values are by no means a one size fits all kind of deal. What works for one family might not work for the next. That’s why it’s so important carefully consider what is important to you and your family when establishing your family’s core values.

Family values can change relationships

There are some people in life you will meet for a reason, some you will know for a certain season in your life, and some people you will know and love for a lifetime. Family values become especially important in relationships with others because they can provide the foundation as to how these relationships grow and develop over time or how they eventually disappear. Teach your family members how to recognize others’ values and to understand that values for different people can change over time.

Family values should be applied daily

Whether you’re at work or your kids are at school, the family values you have established should be applied relentlessly day in and day out. Be sure to communicate to your children that family values are not just a requirement at home. The home is where morals are grounded, but they should be applied in school, work, with friends, with strangers, during extra-curricular activities, and the list goes on.

Make a point to sit down with your family and discuss the importance of establishing and maintaining values and what your values mean to your family. Taking the effort to be sure everyone has a solid understanding of what’s important to your family is one of the best things you can do to raise children with integrity and character.